We live in a sexual culture focused on intercourse. To many Americans “sex,” means intercourse—with the man able to raise and maintain a firm erection and the woman’s vagina naturally well-lubricated enough for comfortable accommodation of the man’s erection. Pornography, the leading source of sex education, is fixated on huge, rock-hard erections and the in-and-out of intercourse. Viagra and the other erection medications currently have sales of $2.5 billion a year.

There’s nothing wrong with intercourse—assuming playfulness and lubrication, and men who understand that only about 25 percent of women are consistently orgasmic during it. But our culture of sex-means-intercourse leaves many older lovers feeling inadequate and frustrated. Even with erection drugs, a considerable proportion of men over 40 have trouble raising erections persistent and firm enough for vaginal intercourse. And menopausal changes beginning in many women’s forties mean that intercourse becomes less and less comfortable. For older adults, there’s a better path to erotic fulfillment, sex without intercourse.

In this article:

  • The New Sexual Frontier for Older Couples
  • Age-Related Sexual Changes: Men and Women Are Out of Synch
  • How Men Can Enjoy Great Sex Without Intercourse
  • How Women Can Enjoy Great Sex Without Intercourse
  • Great Sex for Life!


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