Many (perhaps most) people believe that one goal of lovemaking is to “give” one’s lover an orgasm, ideally one that’s earth-shattering.

But no one “gives” anyone else an orgasm. The question is not: How can I give my lover wonderful orgasms?

The question is: What can I do to help my lover relax and feel accepted, trusting, comfortable, and beloved enough to ride the wave of arousal to its climax?

• Orgasms: Like Laughter
• How to Make Erotic Requests