One thing doesn’t change, older men’s—and women’s—ability to enjoy erotic pleasure. But with age, sex changes. It becomes less like the Fourth of July, and more like Thanksgiving. However, even without exploding fireworks, the erotic flames can still burn hot and bright—if older men adjust to the changes aging brings, and if women involved with older men understand what’s happening to their lovers.
When does a man become sexually “older?” It varies, but usually between 45 and 50. A medically problematic lifestyle, for example, smoking, typically accelerates the changes, and a healthy lifestyle may postpone them, but even men in robust health with exemplary lifestyles experience age-related sexual changes. Depending on the man, the changes may develop gradually or surprisingly suddenly, like within six months.
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We live in a sexual culture focused on intercourse. To many Americans “sex,” means intercourse—with the man able to raise and maintain a firm erection and the woman’s vagina naturally well-lubricated enough for comfortable accommodation of the man’s erection. Pornography, the leading source of sex education, is fixated on huge, rock-hard erections and the in-and-out […]